Wednesday, February 25, 2009

GRRHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ARGHH!!!!!!!!!

I can't take this anymore!!!! her long absence is killing me!!! Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like ripping my heart out!!!!!!!!! GOD HELP ME!!!!! Right now i don't care whether we'll ever be back again, I just want her to talk to me again!! With her gone, all my "happy" emotions are gone with her as well!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!='(

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A poem of a boy's relationship with an angel of a girl..

A boy who loved her so,
was about to be broken down..
It wasn't her fault,
that he wanted to drown..

Together they were,
like the sun and the moon..
Now apart they are,
like darkness and light..

She looked like an angel,
from the stars above..
innocent she is..
and fate was their cause..

The girl didn't know
that the boy was falling..
Holding on
to only a string..

His love for her,
was more than the stars..
He made it clear,
And was left with just scars.....

"My stupid lonely heart"...

Cupid shot an arrow,
that went like a dart,
that poked through something,
called "my stupid aching heart"..

It left a hole deep inside of me..
A hole that showed my empty heart.
Why did he do it, what could it be?
Listen and I'll tell you the "funny part"..

The arrow stayed and did not budge..
But slowly, later it came out, part by part,
It was of a girl who melted me like a fudge..
An emotion rose deep inside "my stupid empty heart"..

I was afraid, oh yes I was..
of the things that could happen..
then again, a girl like her there neverwas..
I started realising my knife had sharpen..

I knew it wouldn't go well,
But too much I loved her.
Soon it was farewell..
And now i'm alone here..

I seem to always be the one who cries most,
after seeing the part i hated, 'the end.."
Looking so gaunt and hollowed like a ghost,
Looking like one dark, creepy trend..

I feel like crushing "my stupid foolish heart"..
Or rip it out of my aching and painful chest..
to put it up and throw things at it like a dart..
and shut it up like a troublesome little pest..

It hurts so bad but i"ll just have to cope..
Stand the pain I inflicted on my own..
I'd close my eyes and stop all hope..
'cause I'm always ending up being thrown.

I'd just give up if it'll stop the tears..
But i simply can't, not now, not here..
I've always been strong to face my fears,
But why can't I now? Am I really adhere?

Why doesit hurt everytime I think?
I'd drop down and cryand start to give up..
I cannot smile, I cannot laugh..
I could only fake it and later feel like throwing up..

The arrow cupid had in "my stupid broken heart",
left a big crak that soon shatters it..
Shattering me as I try to hold on hard..
Now I guess it's over and so now I'll end it....

Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's day..

A day i have dreaded since the age of eight.. every year, i'm heart broken on valentines..every the same things happen...and no matter what i do, i can't stop it from happening..when i decide to love a person, i'll love her for real..no stupid monkey love for me..i would love her like a husband would love his wife..but.....most girls are freaked out by the way i love a person too much..I'd die for the people i love, and that's normal to me..but i guess others dont share the same opinion as i do....

Monday, February 9, 2009

Tok Ki is gone..never coming back..

to all..whoever is reading this, please, take some time to say some prayers in any language,religion or anyway at all for my grandfather died on saturday morning on 8 feb.. He was one those Military Majors who helped bring independence to our country Malaysia.. A strong and great man has now passed away and has gone to a better place..

Saturday, February 7, 2009

A car lesson with Mr. N

Today we had extra "driving class" with Mr. N... HOLY @%#$!!!!!!!!!!!!! gile nak mampos!! Our class ad dua session..B4 and after men basketball..b4 ad satu je.."Lesson 1:Reverse U-Turn". time dy ckp nk bwat U-Turn, aku pk nk turn bese je.. skali..pergh....susah nk explain..^_^"
"Lesson 2:Drag". Kitorg dh abis men bball, so masuk kete nk balik umah.. then N drive ke depan sampai kt ujung jln dy bwat U-Turn td..pas2 ads member bwk moto catch up r..time diorang smpai 2 njib dh tkn throttle gle2..dy jerit go je.....Nangis aku dok kt blakang..bkn pe..angin masuk mate..laju nk mampos!! "lesson 3:Drift" mmg mamat ni terlebih kopi r.. dy tetibe ckp kt kitorg "lesson three, drifting"...trus dy drift pas2 "Lesson 4:Lap"...tu pn dy bwat mcm org gile..haih...Pastu dy tunjuk "Lesson 5:Tail-gate"..ad kete kt depan kitorg..jauh gak r..rasenye kete kembara..anyway, N btau kitorg pe dy nk bwat...immedietely dy pecut sampai btl2 kt bontot kete depan tu...Rapat gile!! mangkuk ayun tol!! tp smart r.. timing dy smart..pastu g anta Mr. M.. then g drive 2 home.. N ckp "time for the last lesson..Lesson 6:Nigga hump Style Drive".... cmtu r kowt tajuk tu..N bwat kete 2 enjut mcm org x reti bwk kete n takut nk jln..tamat la kelas ni.....--"

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Alesana..an awesome band..

Gile dowh band ni! suare mamat2 ni lembut ble nyanyi bese..tp ble scream...pergh..x ilang suare dowh!! beat band ni pun sedap gak.. Alesana, Im ur new fan!!!! sebenanye, dh lme dok mndengar band ni...cme last year x brape layan..coz emo dlu dh kurang...skang dh ad blk..


*calling any guitarists, drummers, Singers/Screamers out there at the age of 15 or below or anyone interested to play with a 15 year old, i'm hoping to make a band. ( Heavy-metal/Screamo/trashed )

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

huh...

My life is crazy!!!!!!!!! apparently, nothing can help me..... NOTHING!!!!!!!!! lama2 cm ni i might end up dead.. but hey, who cares?? org ingges ske ckp nvr stop hoping..hope mcm ne pon it'll come down on me.. All hope is lost. mcm album bru Slipknot tuh..sakit ati r.. When i do things, i always over-do it. I hope too much, love too much, dream too much.. in the end, they all come crashing down like a shower of bricks on me.. GAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sick with life!!!!!!!! sick!!!